Are you in the process of helping a senior parent move into a smaller space? Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed with all the burden of working full-time, taking care of your family, and helping move your parents into assisted living, senior housing or nursing home?
I can relate. I was in my twenties when my dad retired and my parents put their home on the market for sale. My dad worked 30 years for the post office and was able to retire at the age of 50. I was out of state at college when it happened. I came home in the summer to collect my things and take them back to Oregon. During that time, I went through the process of helping my parents with downsizing.
They lived in a 2 story, 5 bedroom house and they were moving from Washington State to Arizona into a small mobile home that was completely furnished. My mom was a packrat and was limited in what should could take with her. It was extremely difficult for all of us as my mom sorted through 40 years of stuff.
She wanted to keep so much but really had no choice in the matter considering they could only take what fit in their car. That forced my mom to make some very tough decisions. Dad and I often lost patience with her as she tried to fit more and more into an already stuffed car. Eventually it came to a point where she had no choice but to let things go. It was a very emotional time but it also taught me some valuable tools to use when helping others downsize in the future. Here are 7 tips I wish I had known then..
1. Keep Your Emotions In Check
One thing I wish I had done when helping my parents was to remain patient and calm. There are so many emotions involved in the process of moving causing stress and anxiety levels to rise easily. No matter how you feel during the situation, it is important to be patient, understanding and compassionate with your parents as they sort through their belongings. Keep in mind that it may take a lot longer than you anticipate. Allow your parents time to process each item, reminisce about an event in the past and talk through their attachment to a particular item. Being impatient or frustrated with them will only delay the process and cause things to slow down.
2. Start Early
It is best to start decluttering and packing right away. My parents did not declutter while the house was on the market and because it was so cluttered, it took a long time to sell their house. Try to declutter as much as you can and pack all non essential items. Clear out furniture that won’t be going to the new residence and move packed boxes to the garage. You want the house to be decluttered as much as possible in order to have a fast sale. Overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin? Sort one room at a time. Sort items into four categories:
To keep(know for sure you want it)
To sell, giveaway or donate
To throw away
Undecided(not sure if you need it)
Have your parents make a list of people who they would like to give their stuff to. If they get hung up on items of sentimental value, take photographs of each of them in case those items are not able to fit in their new home.
3. Make Lists
Another tip is to make lists of all the things that need to be done before the move. Make daily, weekly and monthly to do lists, lists of things to dispose and keep and other things you may forget. Once you have a list, assign family members to each task. Don’t forget to make arrangements with a moving company and schedule dates for turning off utilities.
4. Get Paperwork In Order
Keep all important paperwork such as mortgage documents, deed of sale, closing papers, lease agreements, medical and insurance papers in a 3 ring binder for easy access. You may want to include a list of account and contact numbers for utility and moving companies. Update your address in your personal records including bank accounts, credit cards, voter’s registration, investment/retirement accounts, Medicare & Social Security, driver’s license/car registration and newspaper/magazine subscriptions.
5. Pack One Box A Day
Start packing months in advance to avoid the added stress and frustration of hurrying things along. No need to rush. Start by packing one box a day. Your parents may not be able to handle more than that. If you have family helping, you may be able to do more. Assign each family member to one box a day.
6. Make A First Day Box
This is probably one the most important things that should be done.Make and label an “First Day” box where you will put essential and immediate items like soap, toilet paper, bedding, toiletries, night clothes, kitchen essentials for eating, prescription medicines, vitamins, etc.You will also want to include the binder with important paperwork. Have a purse or bag ready with keys and lease to new residence, cell phone and charger, extra cash, checkbook, first aid supplies and other essentials they may need.
7. Hire Professionals To Help With The Move
To ease the burden, you may want to consider hiring professionals to help with the move. Hire a Professional Organizer or Senior Move Manager to do all the planning for you. Professional Organizers and Senior Move Managers can help you pack, sort, decide on important stuff to keep, hire staff to move your stuff, arrange the move with the moving company, arrange events to sell your stuff like a garage sale, charity or auction and help you unpack in your new home. If you are looking for Professional Organizer or Senior Move Manager in your area here are few places to look…
The National Association Of Professional Organizers(NAPO) www.napo.net
The National Association of Senior Move Managers(NASMM) www.nasmm.org
Find My Organizer www.FindMyOrganizer.com
You can also contact us. We will help you with every aspect of your move and downsizing project. For more information visit our website, www.declutterflydpx.com
